3's a Crowd

As I was browsing through the books on Relationships, I came to know about this book. This book is the last book in The New Indian Marriage Series. The author explains the different situations and contexts in which infidelity takes place. An affair involves 3 people and the author doesn't blame or point any of them for the affair. He doesn't judge them and focuses on the emotional aspects of affairs. He has used the words carefully to avoid a negative image in the relationship. 

The first part Understanding Infidelity explains the types of Affairs and how it happens. In the second part Surviving Infidelity, one can be assured that any affair can be survived and the relationship can be strengthened again.

The second chapter titled We're just friends, We're not having an affairclearly explains the difference between a friendship and an affair. Some transgressors tend to blame the aggrieved partner for getting into an affair. There are many different ways to deal with unfulfilled expectations and having an affair is not one of them.

As platonic friends get more emotionally involved, they might cross the boundary. The author has justified that having a fantasy is not an affair.

The below are some of the interesting points from the book:

1. Affairs don't just happen. We make them happen. Though we know of the dangerous consequences, we go out of our way and make them happen deliberately.

2. It is possible to love more than one person at a time. But it's not possible to have more than one relationship at a time.

3. Relationships are time-consuming, energy-intensive and if you are committed to a monogamous relationship, the lies and deception that go along with extramarital affairs can sap your soul.

4. Emotional Intimacy is often an indicator of a potential affair, even if there's no sex happening. It's not always that people go out and seek affairs; sometimes affairs just walk through the door unannounced.

5. Who said 'forbidden fruit' is easy to digest?

6. It's axiomatic that the only people believe the affair to be a well-kept secret are those having the affair.

7. You can't keep a self-respecting cat in a bag for very long.

The author finishes the book with the words: When it comes to marriage, three is always a crowd.

Very soon, I will be reading his book, The Fifty-50 Marriage (Return To Intimacy)